I could stand to incorporate a little more aftercare into my sexytime routine-especially considering my boo’s love language is words of affirmation and physical touch. (Not sure of your partner’s love language? Here’s how to talk about it-and other convos for a healthy sex life.)
One Sunday after toying around with some new pleasure products, my partner and I decided to give more intentional aftercare a try. We spent hours appreciating, spooning, and loving on each other. As you might guess, it was romantic as shit and really opened a door for us to talk about our
Redefine Shower Sex
The consensus among Redditors is that shower sex is, well, awful, and best left to the movies. “0/10 would recommend, I’m staying to regular ol’ cramped car or bed sex,” writes one Reddit. “I fear for my life when I’m [having sex] in the shower,” writes another.
Despite this seemingly universal stance against shower sex, there’s a whole thread of tips on making it better. (Related: A Sexologist’s Top Tips for Making Shower Sex Amazing)
Considering my partner and I regularly shower together but rarely engage in hanky-panky while there, we decided to give one of the tips a try: Replace penetrative shower play with foreplay.
“Shower sex, as hot as it may sound, can be physically very taxing and dangerous, especially when there’s penetration involved,” says Finn. And because water washes off the body’s natural lubricant, penetration can become downright uncomfortable, she says.
But “taking penetrative vaginal and anal sex off the table isn’t just a smart safety measure,” says Taylor. “It also allows you to explore oral sex, vibrator play, massage, non-penetrative hand sex, massage, and other sex acts that you might usually overlook.” (Related: The Best and Safest Shower Sex Positions).
The first time we tried shower “sex,” we brought a Wartenberg pinwheel (ICYDK, that’s a sensation toy). It was so fun, we tried it again that same day, but also brought in a waterproof vibrator. The final verdict? Non-penetrative shower sex is way steamier than regular shower sex.
Pack a Sex Goodie Bag
Ever worried about asking a casual fling in advance if you’ll be spending the night? Reddit users have a solution: Make a little baggie of hygiene and sex products you might want for a night or romp away from home. (Related: Questions To Ask Someone Before Having Sex With Them).
In the viral thread, over 2,300 Reddit users took to the comments to share what’s stashed in their sex sacks. While some just keep hygiene products like face wash, deodorant, and a toothbrush, others include extra panties, lube, and sex toys-the later of which Finn and Taylor think is best.
“Whenever you’re going to have sex with someone, you want to have safer sex products, sex toys, and lubes that will make you feel the most comfortable and experience pleasure,” says Taylor, adding that this is especially important if you have any allergies to ingredients commonly found in lubes or condoms. “Being prepped like this will take away a lot of the questions and uncertainty, which can help you relax into and therefore enjoy the experience more,” says Taylor.
While many of the Reddit users keep their sex sacks in their cars, Finn notes that condoms and lubes can get ruined by extreme heat. “The plastic bottles most lubricants are stored in begin to disintegrate from the heat, and so can the latex in condoms,” she says. So if you live someplace warm, make sure to swap the condom for new ones after stretches of sweltering heat. (Related: 8 Scary Condom Mistakes You Could Be Making)